Rambo’s Favorite: The Heavy-Duty Chew Toy.
Updated: Sep 5
Posted by Rambo & Frank (joint post — rare occurrence, handle with care
Rambo: Okay so we're doing this together because apparently "Rambo destroyed the squeaky toy in 11 minutes" is a pattern and our mom wants to document it.
Frank: I didn't destroy it. I disassembled it. There's a difference.
....Rambo: There is not a difference.
....Frank: Fine. Let's talk about toys.
Why Bulldogs Are So Hard on Toys???
If you've owned a bulldog, you already know: we are not gentle. We've got strong jaws, a powerful bite, and zero interest in being careful with your investment. Most toys labeled "durable" last about as long as our attention span — which, for Rambo, is not long.
Here's what to look for when shopping for a bulldog toy that has any chance of surviving:
Thick rubber or natural rubber — not foam, not thin plastic
No small parts — squeakers are great until they're a choking hazard
No rope toys — (Frank ate an entire rope toy once. Vet visit. We don't do rope toys anymore.)
Size-appropriate — too small is a hazard, too big is frustrating
Tested for aggressive chewers — look for that label specifically
Rambo's Favorite: The Indestructible Chew Toy
Rambo here. I love a good chew. Like, I love it. I will chew for 45 minutes straight if the toy is worth my time. My personal favorite is a thick rubber chew toy — the kind with a little texture on the outside and maybe a hollow middle where our mom hides treats. Game changer. I cannot destroy it. I've tried. I respect it.
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Frank: I do not “play” in the traditional sense. I test things. A rubber tug-and-chew toy gives me something solid to inspect without adding rope fibers to the household situation.
Rambo: It is not rope, which is unfortunate for my dramatic tug-of-war career. But it is rubber, and I can still attempt to prove my superiority over it.
Frank: Please remember that no toy is truly indestructible. Inspect it regularly and remove it if pieces break off or your dog starts chewing pieces loose.
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For Both of Us: The Tug Toy That Doesn't Rip
This one is our mom's pick and she's right (don't tell her we said that). A thick rubber tug ring — not fabric, not thin rubber — is one of the few toys that survives the two of us. It's good for interactive play, it doesn't have any pieces to eat, and it's easy to clean. We've had ours for months. Months! That's basically forever in bulldog toy years.
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Quick Toy Shopping Checklist
✅ Natural or thick rubber construction
✅ No small removable parts
✅ No rope or fabric that can be ingested
✅ Rated for aggressive/power chewers
✅ Appropriately sized (not too small)
✅ Easy to clean
Avoid: Thin squeaky plush toys (we respect them for approximately 90 seconds), any toy with painted-on details, rope toys, anything with batteries (Frank once tried to eat a battery. Again, vet. We don't discuss it.).
The Verdict
There's no such thing as a truly indestructible toy for a determined bulldog. But there are toys that survive long enough to be worth the money — and those are the ones we'll keep recommending here. Check back — we test new toys regularly. Frank considers it research. Rambo considers it fun. Both are correct.
— Rambo & Frank
Budget buying note for tough dog toys
The best budget dog toy is not always the cheapest toy on the shelf. It is the toy that lasts long enough to be worth the money. For bulldogs and power chewers, thick rubber usually gives better value than plush toys that lose a squeaker in the first hour.
Skip the subscription box if your dog destroys most surprise toys. A one-time purchase lets you choose the exact material, size and chew rating instead of paying every month for toys that may not fit your dog.